I Have A What?!?!

I never dreamed my life would come to a complete halt but this month it did. I mean....who thinks doing IVF will land you in the hospital for 10 days? Probably not many people and I pray that it doesn't happen to anyone. 

Remember in my last post when I said I was feeling a little bit better but still had some weird side effects? Well...let's just say that those side effects got worse. I spiked a fever of 101 that did not go away. After 2 days of the fever I called my Dr. only to be told that it was normal. I was told that my fever and other symptoms should go away soon and that once I got my period I would feel 100% better. So for the next 5 days I tried to push through, I kept praying that things would get better and I tried to stay focused on why I was going through all of this. My fever continued...I went back and forth from being freezing and my whole body shaking to sweating as if it were 120 degrees. My leg muscle and back pain intensified, I had no appetite, I was nauseous, and all I wanted to do was lay in bed...I felt so weak. Eric was in Boston during this time and I remember calling him and telling him that I knew something else had to be wrong with me. Certainly IVF recovery and OHSS couldn't be THIS bad. I had done some research on OHSS and my symptoms just weren't adding up. I kept telling Eric It felt as if I had a virus or a bug. I was so frustrated because the Dr's kept telling me that it was just taking longer for me to recover. I was also pissed off at my body for not healing as fast as I would have liked. I seriously felt like I was going nuts!!


I picked Eric up from the airport on Sept. 3rd and I guess I must have looked pretty awful because he said that once we got home we were going straight to the ER. I wasn't about to complain...I was feeling as awful as I looked and I just wanted someone to figure out what was wrong.  Our first visit was pretty unsuccessful. They did a bunch of tests hoping to find out what was wrong...but after 4 hours they just had no idea why I was so sick. They sent me home and told me that if things got worse I could come back in. The next night my fever spiked to 103 and I started to have some lower abdominal pain. Eric called the Dr. and we were told to come right in. They ran a CT scan once I got there and it revealed that I had a gigantic pelvic abscess (about the size of a grapefruit). Yippiee! They had found something and I wasn't nuts after all!  But....what the heck was a pelvic abscess? Up until this point I thought an abscess was only something you could get in your mouth. I was clueless as to what it was, why it was there or how they were going to make it go away. All I know is that I was admitted that night and ended up staying for 10 days.


I've been out of the hospital for 2 days now and I could not be more happy. I still have another month of recovery...2 weeks with IV antibiotics and then 2 weeks of oral antibiotics. I've made it through the worst of things and I know things can only go up from here. Once I'm feeling better I will share more about my stay and about the wonderful people I encountered while there. For now, I will rest and be thankful to be home.

OHSS

I had my egg retrieval about a week ago. I thought I would be prepared for it, but again I guess I was wrong. I've had surgeries in the past...never had issues with anesthesia or pain meds, and usually had a fast painless recovery. While this procedure did go well, the after effects did not. I got sick from the anesthesia and was in a lot of pain. I was told that my recovery would be a day and that I should be able work after that. Well....that didn't happen. I was lucky enough to get a syndrome called ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome (OHSS) which caused fluid to collect around my entire abdomen and in my chest as well. I did a little research and only about 14% of IVF patients get this OHSS...I'm pretty lucky right? 

I have to say that my recovery period was pretty much the most awful 5 days of pain I've ever experienced.  I was down for the count and definitely did not go back to work the next day. The pain meds they gave me didn't work...I was cramping, nauseous, bloated (I looked 5 months pregnant) and exhausted because I couldn't lay down to sleep. I had to sleep sitting up which, for those of you who have been pregnant, you know how uncomfortable that is.  I'm also still wrestling with the fact that they weren't able to do the implantation this week. I'm frustrated that I have to prolong this awful experience.  To top it all off...I found out yesterday, that of my 17 embryos, only 6 grew to the size they needed to be. I had great hopes that we would have at least 10 which would give us 5 opportunities to implant. I'm still trying to stay very positive and remember that I'm doing this so that Eric and I can have a family. 6 healthy frozen embryos is much better than what some women end up with.  I need to try and remember that we only need 2 of those 6 to work!

Anyway...I have been feeling a little bit better the past 2 days but I am still having some weird side effects...headaches, MORE bloating and some pretty intense muscle pain in my legs and back. I've called the Dr. a few times just to check up and see if it really takes this long to recover....apparently it does.  I cannot wait for the day I'm feeling better and can start the next chapter of this IVF process. Until then...I will just be patient.

Side Effects...

From the beginning, the process of taking injections was very overwhelming and frustrating. The most overwhelming was the day I received the box of meds, it was HUGE! I never in my life knew it would take so many injections just to have one tiny baby. I thought that it would be easier than it was for the fact that I've dealt with my arthritis and taking injections for 10 years now...boy was I wrong. I broke down crying the first few times because the injections were very painful and on a part of my body I'm not use to doing them on. I was so angry, frustrated and sad that I was having to go through this. Why would God allow me to go through medical turmoil again? I've dealt with illness my entire life and for once I wanted things to be easy...I didn't want to be poked and prodded by doctors, give myself injections, or deal with nasty side effects. But...here I am again dealing with all of these things on top of the illness I already have.

The side effects have been no fun...horrible mood swings, bloating, bruises all over my stomach, loss of appetite, headaches, etc. Oh...and did I mention horrible mood swings? I've never really been one to cry a lot, but with the abundance of hormones I haven't been able to turn off the waterworks! Poor Eric...

I've tried to stay focused on the outcome of all of this, but it hasn't easy. I keep telling myself that this first round of injections is almost over and done with. I actually have 4 days left of it with my egg retrieval being on the 17th. I'm praying that it go well. I'm praying that God give me peace about my situation and for him to show me the good in it all. The one thing I do know is that even through I might get frustrated, disappointed, or down right pissed off.... he is right by my side and will be through the entire process.

Here is a picture of the insane amount of drugs....You would be overwhelmed too, Right??

This is the schedule I have to follow...Good thing they have spelled it out for me, I'd get confused!

IVF

I've been debating whether I should write about the topic of IVF. I didn't really know if I wanted to get that personal on my blog. After all...what I write is out there for the world to see. Do I really want everyone knowing that much about my personal life?  And then I thought...If I write about my experiences with IVF and in the end don't end up with a bouncing bundle of joy...will I really want people knowing I failed? I've come realize that maybe I'm being just a little selfish. What if my experiences help someone going through the same thing? I guess I feel like if I could help just one person know what to expect or to know they aren't alone then sharing my story will be worth it.

I've always thought getting pregnant probably wouldn't be easy for me. I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis at the age of 14....so for more than half of my life I've been on some pretty hard core medications. I always just assumed that these medications would make me infertile or that I wouldn't be able to come off of them for the 9+ months I would need too while pregnant. It came as complete surprise to me when I was told by my Rheumatologist that I could in fact come off my meds and carry a baby successfully. He even said that most of his patients go into remission during pregnancy! So...In January, Eric and I decided to start trying. After trying for 6 months with no success and the fact that I was no longer ovulating, my primary care Dr. advised us to see a fertility specialist.

I never knew walking through the doors of a fertility clinic would be so nerve wracking! Eric and I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. It probably would have helped us out a little if we would have done our research, but....we didn't. At our first appointment we met with one of the nurses who performed an ultrasound, went over our medical history, and provided us with a background of the clinic. From there we met with the Dr. who advised that once all of our test results were back he would be able to let us know what route of treatment would be best for us.

Our 2nd appointment was scheduled for 2 weeks later...at that time we were told that IVF would be the best route for our situation. We were provided a calendar of "events" and an overview of what to expect. Talk about Overwhelming!! Eric and I left there with our heads spinning....we knew there would be a lot of things to do and drugs to take but we definitely weren't prepared for just how intense this journey would be.

Bethenny

I will admit...I love reality TV! And not just any reality TV...I love the drama filled, cat fighting, funny and love inspiring girl shows. Shows such as; Housewives of Orange County, New York, Beverly Hills and Atlanta....Guiliana & Bill...and last but certainly not least, Bethenny Ever After. I'm invested in these shows...They make me laugh, they make me cry, and sometimes...they make me down right irritated. These shows also make me thankful to live such a normal life.

In becoming invested in these shows I've become attached to some of the people on them. Some might say that I'm really just obsessed. If telling people that I feel like Bethenny and I would be great friends, and secretly ARE great friends....then ok, I might be a lil obsessed. Either way...I think she is great! So...Naturally, when I found out she was coming to Phoenix to promote her new skinny girl sangria I knew I had to be there. 

Most events like this usually happen during the week and in the middle of a work day...so for the working girl, they are nearly impossible to attend. I would normally be one of those working girls unable to attend, but on this day however...I had some free time.

Sadly, I cant say that I actually met her or that I got her autograph (the line for that was insane) but I did get to see her. I tried her new drink, bought her new book, and snapped a few photos. It was exciting and fun and I'm so glad I was able to go.

  

Haboob - 1 Phoenix - 0

Haboob
[huh-boob]
–noun

a thick dust storm or sandstorm that blows in the deserts of North Africa and Arabia or on the plains of India

 

 

They blow in the deserts of Phoenix, Arizona as well...Who knew?!  It was pretty cool to watch...but not so cool to clean up after.

A little less shady please!

Things don't always go the way I want. Surprising huh? You would think that I would know this by now...that I wouldn't be surprised when things go wrong. But, once again I am surprised by the actions of others and a little disappointed that things didn't go the way I wanted. I guess life wouldn't be to much fun if everything went my way or if people were always as good as I expect them to be. Needless to say, my career with Mercy Medical was very short lived...3 weeks to be exact. Along with a nice size salary, I was promised bonuses, a suit and dry cleaning allowance, and that I would be paid to get manicures and pedicures. Sound too good to be true? Well....it was. Things got shady pretty fast. I won't go into too much detail, but lets just say that after 3 weeks, one of our 3 employees was fired, the doors hadn't opened to customers, and...I hadn't been paid. Not being paid alone was enough for me to realize that I needed to get the heck outta there.

So...Here I am, once again...temporarily retired. I'm hoping the next opportunity to come my way is a little less shady and a little more reliable.

And for those of you who are wondering, yes....I eventually got paid. :)