Temporary Retirement

It's official! I've been unemployed exactly for 29 days 11 hours and 45 minutes, give or take a few. I like to say I'm "temporarily retired". Most might think I'm insane for quitting my job without something else lined up, others might just call it plain stupid. Whatever the case, It's my insanity and it's Wonderful! I was so miserable at my last job...so much so that it just sucked the life right out of me. I went to bed at night dreading the day ahead of me and I woke up every morning counting the minutes until 5:00. I slept, I worked, and I came home only to start it all over again the next day. It finally got to the point where I was asking myself "Why are you doing this?!" The answer to that was....I have no clue!! I have come to the conclusion that I only have ONE life....God gave me one amazing life to live and I cannot and should not be living it in misery. I just don't think that's what He would want. So...I prayed, I debated, and I prayed again. I finally decided to quit my job. Walking out of the office on my last day was so liberating! I was taking control of my life in a way I never had. I didn't care what people thought...I knew what I felt. I needed to get the heck outta dodge (a saying I learned from my mom)! I feel like I've gotten my life back. I no longer dread waking up and it seems my days run out of time. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm now free to find a job that makes me happy, where I'm useful and appreciated...where I can use the talents and gifts God gave me and intended me to use.

So what is that job you ask? Well...I don't know! Seems I don't know much these days. You would think at 32 years old I would have it all figured out...that I should know exactly who I am and what I'm suppose to do now that I'm "grown" up. My mom said that she didn't find out what she wanted to do and what made her truly happy until she was 45 or so. She said that MOST people never figure it out! I can't imagine going through life never knowing why I was put here on earth. Sure, I know we were all put here by God and for God....that we are to love Him, and love others. But that doesn't really help a girl out when trying to find a job! I want a job where I can do more, where I can make a difference and use the gifts God gave me. Sounds easy enough, right? Well...I've come to learn its not. Job interview after job interview, I leave saying "God, is this where you want me to be?" So far...he hasn't responded. I try not to get too discouraged because I know He will point me in the right direction, he will put me right where I am suppose to be. In the meantime, I'm going to sit back, relax and enjoy my temporary retirement.