Hospital

I've been in hospitals before. Had a few surgeries, visited a few friends, but I've never actually stayed overnight in one. So when I was told I was being admitted I didn't know quite what to expect. The first two nights were pretty hard because I had to stay by myself. I tried sleeping and was unsuccessful. I tried watching TV but at 3 in the morning there isn't much on. Nurses were in and out all night, checking vitals, giving me meds and making sure I was as comfortable as I could be.


On Wednesday my mom flew into town and I was so happy! Sure, Eric was great at being there and taking care of me, but there is nothing like having your momma around when you are sick. (I think Eric was secretly relieved to have her there as well.) That same day they decided I needed to have a drain put in so that they could drain the fluid in the abscess. Sounds pretty disgusting, and it was. The drain was inserted through my back. Well...more like the love handle/booty section of my back. I was awake during the procedure and it was intense. I kept telling myself that I could get through it and that it would be over soon. However, after 2 days they decieded I needed another one because just one drain wasnt cuttin it. So once again I had to endure a painful procedure while awake. I now had two long tubes coming out of my butt with these clear bulb type sacs attached...awesome. I carried those suckers around for 7 days. Let me tell ya, it made things difficult. I had to sleep on my side, have help when showering, wear pants that were big enough to fit over them, and when walking the floor I had to make sure I wore a jacket that hid them. I'm sure the other patients were happy not to have seen my junk filled sacs. 

(Fred and Ethyl - yes, I named the lil guys)

By Saturday I had had enough. I was so broken and felt as if I just could not go on. I was angry with God mostly. I didn't understand why he was allowing me to suffer this way. I remember laying on the floor of the bathroom crying out "Lord, please make it all go away". I believed with every ounce of my being that he could make it go away, but for some reason he wasn't. I was done with the pain, done with being poked and prodded, done with IV's, beeping machines, uncomfortable beds and awful TV. I wanted to be home in my bed with my puppies and hubby. I felt as if God had just abandoned me right there in that hospital room...I felt so alone.

The good news is that I wasn't alone and God so kindly reminded me of that. I believe that he sent me the wonderful doctors and nurses to remind me that I was going to make it through. I met 2 nurses who were currently going through IVF...they were able to share their stories with me and it gave me hope. My Doctor, Dr.Ashfaq told me on Monday that he believed it was a miracle made by God that the abscess had gone away. He believed in prayer and had been praying for me to be healed. I don't know about you, but....I've never been in a "secular" type place where so many people were open and willing to share their faith in God. I believe without a shadow of a doubt that God did that. He wasn't going to take my pain away, but he was going to show me that He was there and that He was going to get me through it.

On Tuesday I got the news I had been waiting for....I was free to go home! It was music to my ears. Although I was free to go home, I was not totally healed. The one condition for my release is that I had to have a PICC line...basically an IV that you can travel with. Having the PICC line put in was quite painful but I dealt with it since it meant I was free to go home. I've been wearing "barney" for a week now and I have one more week to go. It's a little frustrating having to plan my day around when I do my meds. At 1:00 everyday I have to mix my meds and then sit and wait for them to slowly drip into my body.  I know its just an hour out of my day and that in the grand scheme of things...2 weeks is nothing. Once this sucker comes out I will switch to oral antibiotics for 2 weeks and then, I should be abscess free!

(Barney the PICC Line)

(Flowers and such from my wonderful Friends & Family)

I Have A What?!?!

I never dreamed my life would come to a complete halt but this month it did. I mean....who thinks doing IVF will land you in the hospital for 10 days? Probably not many people and I pray that it doesn't happen to anyone. 

Remember in my last post when I said I was feeling a little bit better but still had some weird side effects? Well...let's just say that those side effects got worse. I spiked a fever of 101 that did not go away. After 2 days of the fever I called my Dr. only to be told that it was normal. I was told that my fever and other symptoms should go away soon and that once I got my period I would feel 100% better. So for the next 5 days I tried to push through, I kept praying that things would get better and I tried to stay focused on why I was going through all of this. My fever continued...I went back and forth from being freezing and my whole body shaking to sweating as if it were 120 degrees. My leg muscle and back pain intensified, I had no appetite, I was nauseous, and all I wanted to do was lay in bed...I felt so weak. Eric was in Boston during this time and I remember calling him and telling him that I knew something else had to be wrong with me. Certainly IVF recovery and OHSS couldn't be THIS bad. I had done some research on OHSS and my symptoms just weren't adding up. I kept telling Eric It felt as if I had a virus or a bug. I was so frustrated because the Dr's kept telling me that it was just taking longer for me to recover. I was also pissed off at my body for not healing as fast as I would have liked. I seriously felt like I was going nuts!!


I picked Eric up from the airport on Sept. 3rd and I guess I must have looked pretty awful because he said that once we got home we were going straight to the ER. I wasn't about to complain...I was feeling as awful as I looked and I just wanted someone to figure out what was wrong.  Our first visit was pretty unsuccessful. They did a bunch of tests hoping to find out what was wrong...but after 4 hours they just had no idea why I was so sick. They sent me home and told me that if things got worse I could come back in. The next night my fever spiked to 103 and I started to have some lower abdominal pain. Eric called the Dr. and we were told to come right in. They ran a CT scan once I got there and it revealed that I had a gigantic pelvic abscess (about the size of a grapefruit). Yippiee! They had found something and I wasn't nuts after all!  But....what the heck was a pelvic abscess? Up until this point I thought an abscess was only something you could get in your mouth. I was clueless as to what it was, why it was there or how they were going to make it go away. All I know is that I was admitted that night and ended up staying for 10 days.


I've been out of the hospital for 2 days now and I could not be more happy. I still have another month of recovery...2 weeks with IV antibiotics and then 2 weeks of oral antibiotics. I've made it through the worst of things and I know things can only go up from here. Once I'm feeling better I will share more about my stay and about the wonderful people I encountered while there. For now, I will rest and be thankful to be home.