On Wednesday my mom flew into town and I was so happy! Sure, Eric was great at being there and taking care of me, but there is nothing like having your momma around when you are sick. (I think Eric was secretly relieved to have her there as well.) That same day they decided I needed to have a drain put in so that they could drain the fluid in the abscess. Sounds pretty disgusting, and it was. The drain was inserted through my back. Well...more like the love handle/booty section of my back. I was awake during the procedure and it was intense. I kept telling myself that I could get through it and that it would be over soon. However, after 2 days they decieded I needed another one because just one drain wasnt cuttin it. So once again I had to endure a painful procedure while awake. I now had two long tubes coming out of my butt with these clear bulb type sacs attached...awesome. I carried those suckers around for 7 days. Let me tell ya, it made things difficult. I had to sleep on my side, have help when showering, wear pants that were big enough to fit over them, and when walking the floor I had to make sure I wore a jacket that hid them. I'm sure the other patients were happy not to have seen my junk filled sacs.
(Fred and Ethyl - yes, I named the lil guys)
By Saturday I had had enough. I was so broken and felt as if I just could not go on. I was angry with God mostly. I didn't understand why he was allowing me to suffer this way. I remember laying on the floor of the bathroom crying out "Lord, please make it all go away". I believed with every ounce of my being that he could make it go away, but for some reason he wasn't. I was done with the pain, done with being poked and prodded, done with IV's, beeping machines, uncomfortable beds and awful TV. I wanted to be home in my bed with my puppies and hubby. I felt as if God had just abandoned me right there in that hospital room...I felt so alone.
The good news is that I wasn't alone and God so kindly reminded me of that. I believe that he sent me the wonderful doctors and nurses to remind me that I was going to make it through. I met 2 nurses who were currently going through IVF...they were able to share their stories with me and it gave me hope. My Doctor, Dr.Ashfaq told me on Monday that he believed it was a miracle made by God that the abscess had gone away. He believed in prayer and had been praying for me to be healed. I don't know about you, but....I've never been in a "secular" type place where so many people were open and willing to share their faith in God. I believe without a shadow of a doubt that God did that. He wasn't going to take my pain away, but he was going to show me that He was there and that He was going to get me through it.
On Tuesday I got the news I had been waiting for....I was free to go home! It was music to my ears. Although I was free to go home, I was not totally healed. The one condition for my release is that I had to have a PICC line...basically an IV that you can travel with. Having the PICC line put in was quite painful but I dealt with it since it meant I was free to go home. I've been wearing "barney" for a week now and I have one more week to go. It's a little frustrating having to plan my day around when I do my meds. At 1:00 everyday I have to mix my meds and then sit and wait for them to slowly drip into my body. I know its just an hour out of my day and that in the grand scheme of things...2 weeks is nothing. Once this sucker comes out I will switch to oral antibiotics for 2 weeks and then, I should be abscess free!
(Barney the PICC Line)
(Flowers and such from my wonderful Friends & Family)
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